What am I doing? Why am I doing this?

Posted in Uncategorized on October 7, 2016 by whenimborediblog

Hey Blogger Readers,


So anyway, Whats new with me? I guess I’m just on another adventure in life. Having finished my Physics degree. I am currently looking for employment. However I FEEL LOST, well less lost than before. What I’ve found myself doing for the past day and a bit is applying to things that I’m really not that interested in. Not at all.

I want to experience tech really. I started teaching myself some Java but besides that, I haven’t done much else. I feel to save up for a masters and then go back to university to study Computer Science but at the same time I’d rather work and pay off my student loan debt. I don’t know. Why am I applying for Consultancy jobs when I’m really not that interested in them? Do I want to climb down the rabbit hole of despair and misery and question if I like something or not again?

The thing is at University I actually enjoyed studying Physics but at the same time I was slightly bummed out because I was unsure if the decision was mine and not my parents or somebody else’s. I don’t know maybe its just a thing with me. I just feel better knowing that I whole heartedly chose this and wanted to do this. At the same time if your enjoying it why does it matter? I think it’s important to be in control of your own life. You should be the one making the decisions and calling the shots to an extent. But yeah, I did like learning Physics it was very fascinating. However now I look to employment so I can pay off my loan, save up for korea and develop as a human being.


I haven’t written in here in ages. I guess I should do more often. I don’t know why I’ve been delaying employment so much well I guess I do know. It’s because even though certain jobs are out there, they are not jobs that I want. I guess I only fully have one job that I want to do. So I should work towards that. I definitely need to find some temporary role for the timebeing, and work on the techy stuff part time I guess. Got to get some £££ flow, ya know what I’m saying.


It’s really important to stop and think and take the time to say to yourself. Hang on a minute do I really want to go there? Do I really want to enter the Finance Sector….errrr no. I mean I’ve probably said “I don’t want to go into the Finance sector.” So MANY times. Silly me. What else is new????????


Finished University

Applied to some jobs.

Went to an interview and totally messed it up.

Began my Arabic Class so I can have some structured Arabic learning YYAAAY.

Didn’t complete focus 25, and joint the gym (I have been a couple of times, and will continue to do so…hopefully)

Trying to read the economist. It really isn’t sticking though, so I might just leave that behind. I need to stick to doing things that interest me, or I might end up 5  years down the line looking around and thinking bloody ell how did I get here.


Life really just keep on ticking, so I guess you just gotta do something you are interested in. And make money aswell, well get some kind of cash flow going. Tough decisions. Guess I’m ruling out those two applications.

Feel the care and do it anyway.

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 1, 2016 by whenimborediblog


I kind of forgot that we all are in control of our lives, and people can only get you down if you let them! I totally forgot about this one little tiny thing. Don’t give your power away, learn to not let your circumstances or things bring you down. Have hope things will get better because they sure do.

Anyway I kind of just wrote this post because I felt like writing, something I haven’t felt like doing in a while, and when I last did feel like writing the words wouldn’t/couldn’t seem to be typed. I recommend not caring what other people think, because 99% of the time they aren’t thinking about you.

And for that 1% – do what you want and say what you feel because those that mind dont matter and those that matter dont mind. – quote from dr seuss I think.

It’s easy to talk about but hard to apply in a real life setting. I feel like it’s a constant battle, and also kind of like feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Caring about others people’s opinions but doing what your heart is set on anyway (purely in a chasing a dream kind of way, not in a running off with your best friends boyfriend kind of way. That’s bad.)


Posted in Uncategorized on June 6, 2016 by whenimborediblog

Finished exams but I have this constant feeling of feeling overwhelmed. There seems like theres 1000 things to do and no time to fit them all in. Balancing work and play is hard, as well as taking the time out to figure things out and decide if I truly want them. Definitely feel like this next month will be a struggle of breaking bad habits and forming new ones. Hope it goes well.

Take some time for yourself…everyday

Posted in Uncategorized on May 23, 2016 by whenimborediblog

I feel like this is important. When you stop, it catches up to you. No one else can take care of you like you. You are the only you, you are the centre of your own universe. Everyday I feel like everyone including me (especially me) should take out some time for themselves.


Recently I’ve noticed that for the past couple of years I’ve been meeting other people’s needs while neglecting mine. I’m the type of person that need’s to be alone with myself to recharge. I haven’t really been getting that for a long time now. So from now on there’s going to be a permanent change in my life. Such as, meeting my needs first and then meeting other peoples needs. Also everyday I’m just going to take some time out. Either to journal, exercise, read a book whatever. Just going to do it.

Enjoy the present

Posted in Uncategorized on April 6, 2016 by whenimborediblog

bloody ell, I’m always going on about what I want to do later oo this and that. I need to just shut up and enjoy the present. Stop stressing girl. Things will happen enjoy the process. wooooooo.

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on February 28, 2016 by whenimborediblog

Sometimes in life things change, and you know you just gotta get your head around it. This is something I haven’t been able to deal with for a long time. Sometimes you gotta let people go even if that means you will be alone. If you no longer connect and click in the same way, your just dragging on dead weight in a way. Thing’s aren’t supposed to be the same, that’s the beauty of life. And yea, this post is so cryptic and weird.

I guess I’m frustrated, I was frustrated and annoyed at myself for a while. One for going against my principles and taking out such a big loan for an education that I didn’t necessarily need. Two for chasing after people that didn’t really want to get to know me.

I’m actually tired of talking to people who only want to talk to me when they have something to say and not when I do to. I understand people are busy living their lives but if you really played a significant factor to someone else’s life they would probably text you back, or ask you how your doing. I’m tired of making excuses for people’s crappy behaviour and most of all I’m tired of just taking it at all. I’m not blaming the crappy people for my situation. I know it’s entirely my fault because I let this all happen. I should’ve walked away earlier. I’m at a point in my life where to be honest I don’t really fully have enough time to connect with people. Especially within these next few months. I have a lot to do in a short amount of time so I don’t really have time for drama. I’m still figuring out what I want to do on this Earth. I have a few ideas and loads more floating in my brain but I literally don’t have time for that. For now I don’t want to let people determine my mood. Whether someone texts me back or not, is in your life or not, you shouldn’t let it bring you down. It just sucks ass when it’s someone you never really thought would do that, does it. It sucks to know that you’ve been forgotten or that they’d intentionally ignore your message. IT SUCKS ASS. I’ve had my fair share of being ignored, and I can officially say I am done. If you don’t appreciate my presence, I guess that’s that, not everyone’s gonna love you for you, but it’s gonna be alright. It is just annoying when you don’t really know where you stand to someone. It’s so annoying. Literally makes me feel like cutting people off.

DAMN MAN. This has all come about because of some stupid incident earlier in my life. I guess what’s to be learnt from this is that if you don’t know where you stand with someone you probably don’t really stand anything to them anyway. If that make’s any sense. It’s a sad reality in this world. No you won’t be friends with everyone. No, not everyone will be your supporter. Yes people will use you and then leave you when it suits them. That is life. No ones perfect, but when you sure find people you actually connect with and click with. Someone you can see eye to eye with, someone who respects your views and you respects them. Someone who values your time. Treat them right. Simple as. Don’t leave another scar in a too scared world.


Didn’t realise how scarred I got from a whole weird experience, but yea I guess it will take time to officially not care anymore. It doesn’t happen in a day a month a year or whatnot, but it’ll happen one day or another. I’m actually kind of glad though to be where I am. I am glad. Gotten through a lot beneath the surface, and it was damn crazy but it’s alright now. If any of you guys are going through anything tough just know at the end it’ll be alright. We are all human beings, everyone makes mistakes, but you’ve got to find the ones worth the mistakes. Surround yourself with people who are honestly happy for your success. Honestly there for you during the hard times, people you feel comfortable turning to for advice. Those are the kinds of people you wanna keep around. Also, don’t let a bad experience stop you from giving other people chances. It’s hard I know, but we just gotta not let other people bring us down to a point where we ourselves completely change and are bitter towards others. Be stronger than the crappy’s out there. Don’t let them get you down.


All these words just from being ignored. AHHH. THINGS RUN DEEP SOMETIMES.


Anyway life changes. OMG TWO MONTHS LEFT. AJDJSBJBSJCSDKCJSDNCJ I’VE GOT TO STUDY HARD GET IN THE GROOVE OF STUDYING. I actually do not know how I pass. I’m literally not going to look past these two months because it distracts me so bad. I’ve got several lists (all listing similar stuff) of thing’s I want to do after as a reminder. I need to just forget about that list till later. TWO THINGS TO DO: STUDY AND FOCUS 25. Everyday 25 minutes because I feel my health deteriorating. If I get through focus 25 I’ll do a post on it. I mean why not. In 2/3 months I’ll write a post about university too. Maybe someone will benefit from them. I hope I remember to do the posts.

If you’re feeling low

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on February 10, 2016 by whenimborediblog

If you’re feeling low try this:

Write a list of things that bring you happiness and joy, small things big things. (reading a book, talking a walk, watching the sky, watching a movie…)