bloody ell, I’m always going on about what I want to do later oo this and that. I need to just shut up and enjoy the present. Stop stressing girl. Things will happen enjoy the process. wooooooo.
Sometimes in life things change, and you know you just gotta get your head around it. This is something I haven’t been able to deal with for a long time. Sometimes you gotta let people go even if that means you will be alone. If you no longer connect and click in the same way, your just dragging on dead weight in a way. Thing’s aren’t supposed to be the same, that’s the beauty of life. And yea, this post is so cryptic and weird.
I guess I’m frustrated, I was frustrated and annoyed at myself for a while. One for going against my principles and taking out such a big loan for an education that I didn’t necessarily need. Two for chasing after people that didn’t really want to get to know me.
I’m actually tired of talking to people who only want to talk to me when they have something to say and not when I do to. I understand people are busy living their lives but if you really played a significant factor to someone else’s life they would probably text you back, or ask you how your doing. I’m tired of making excuses for people’s crappy behaviour and most of all I’m tired of just taking it at all. I’m not blaming the crappy people for my situation. I know it’s entirely my fault because I let this all happen. I should’ve walked away earlier. I’m at a point in my life where to be honest I don’t really fully have enough time to connect with people. Especially within these next few months. I have a lot to do in a short amount of time so I don’t really have time for drama. I’m still figuring out what I want to do on this Earth. I have a few ideas and loads more floating in my brain but I literally don’t have time for that. For now I don’t want to let people determine my mood. Whether someone texts me back or not, is in your life or not, you shouldn’t let it bring you down. It just sucks ass when it’s someone you never really thought would do that, does it. It sucks to know that you’ve been forgotten or that they’d intentionally ignore your message. IT SUCKS ASS. I’ve had my fair share of being ignored, and I can officially say I am done. If you don’t appreciate my presence, I guess that’s that, not everyone’s gonna love you for you, but it’s gonna be alright. It is just annoying when you don’t really know where you stand to someone. It’s so annoying. Literally makes me feel like cutting people off.
DAMN MAN. This has all come about because of some stupid incident earlier in my life. I guess what’s to be learnt from this is that if you don’t know where you stand with someone you probably don’t really stand anything to them anyway. If that make’s any sense. It’s a sad reality in this world. No you won’t be friends with everyone. No, not everyone will be your supporter. Yes people will use you and then leave you when it suits them. That is life. No ones perfect, but when you sure find people you actually connect with and click with. Someone you can see eye to eye with, someone who respects your views and you respects them. Someone who values your time. Treat them right. Simple as. Don’t leave another scar in a too scared world.
Didn’t realise how scarred I got from a whole weird experience, but yea I guess it will take time to officially not care anymore. It doesn’t happen in a day a month a year or whatnot, but it’ll happen one day or another. I’m actually kind of glad though to be where I am. I am glad. Gotten through a lot beneath the surface, and it was damn crazy but it’s alright now. If any of you guys are going through anything tough just know at the end it’ll be alright. We are all human beings, everyone makes mistakes, but you’ve got to find the ones worth the mistakes. Surround yourself with people who are honestly happy for your success. Honestly there for you during the hard times, people you feel comfortable turning to for advice. Those are the kinds of people you wanna keep around. Also, don’t let a bad experience stop you from giving other people chances. It’s hard I know, but we just gotta not let other people bring us down to a point where we ourselves completely change and are bitter towards others. Be stronger than the crappy’s out there. Don’t let them get you down.
All these words just from being ignored. AHHH. THINGS RUN DEEP SOMETIMES.
Anyway life changes. OMG TWO MONTHS LEFT. AJDJSBJBSJCSDKCJSDNCJ I’VE GOT TO STUDY HARD GET IN THE GROOVE OF STUDYING. I actually do not know how I pass. I’m literally not going to look past these two months because it distracts me so bad. I’ve got several lists (all listing similar stuff) of thing’s I want to do after as a reminder. I need to just forget about that list till later. TWO THINGS TO DO: STUDY AND FOCUS 25. Everyday 25 minutes because I feel my health deteriorating. If I get through focus 25 I’ll do a post on it. I mean why not. In 2/3 months I’ll write a post about university too. Maybe someone will benefit from them. I hope I remember to do the posts.
If you’re feeling low try this:
Write a list of things that bring you happiness and joy, small things big things. (reading a book, talking a walk, watching the sky, watching a movie…)
Studying seems so long right now. ahhh i’m sick of rewriting the same symbol with a different prefix and those tiny pointy arrows ARGH driving me slightly crazy. All this though, I have doubts of passing aahhh i know it’s bad. I’m just gonna keep going, keep trying my best and trying my best. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this, I just know that I have to get through it.
So much..so much has happened kind of in the last few years and so little. ha. what a weird sentence, contradicts itself. Well, at the time it seemed like so much but now looking back I feel like so little has actually happened.
LA DA DA DA DE, You’re not breaking me (from the song by Tori Kelly, Unbreakable smile)
I really thought I would have written loads in the last few years but I kind of feel so out of it aswell, like ahhh it’s kind of crazy that this is all on the internet. When I was younger I thought it was all find and dandy cause it’s anonymous and what not but still I don’t know. It just feels a bit funny. So cool that this is anonymous.
LA DA DA DA DEEE….. this song’s kinda cool. I like it. First time I heard it just now lOOLOLOLOLOL.
I like Tori Kelly. She’s cool. Well her music is I’ve never met her but hopefully she’s cool too. Everybody’s talking about the next thing…feel like what they’ve got aint good enough…but all i wanna do is reduce the tension..bring the conversation back to us.
Wow. i’ve had this blog for ages and ages.
Well….lets fill ya in ey. When everyone asks me what’s new i always say “Nothing.” because nothing is new with me. It’s the same old stuff. Watched a show, need to actually start learning stuff. Rubbish. Well, It does’t seem to be talk-worthy. Worthy of talking about. Am I slowly disintegrating into nothingness? Am i too content? I don’t know.
I definitely want to try rock climbing though, and travelling wherever possible. As long as its more or less safe and what not.
i fell like writing has just left me. Does that make sense. Can writing leave you? I used to have days where i was just itching to write write write and these days its just like. Meh. Last year I really wanted to write a few times but i just suppressed it. i thought it would’ve been all negative rubbish. This that and the other.
OK LETS BE REAL NOW WHATS NEW…
1) I READ A GOOD READ. IDC. ITS A TEEN BOOK. FOR THE TEENY TINY TEENS. YEs. And it was called “Geek Girl”, it twas a very nice lovely enjoyable read.
2) I KNOW HOW TO DRIVE. I learnt how to drive and passed wOO WOO WOO
3) I WENT TRAVELLING. WHY I DIDNT WRITE ON MY TRAVELS I DONT KNOW! I WENT TO ANOTHER LAND. SOMEWHERE NEAR THE ATLANTIC OCEAN AN ISLAND. IT WAS LOVELY AND NOT SO LOVELY BUT ALL IN ALL VERY LOVELY.
4) I ALSO WENT TRAVELLING WITH FAMILY. WELL WENT TO A COUNTRY IN SPAIN…WELL I WENT TO BARCELONA OKAY OKAY.
5) I actually went to university and passed first year. You know those rants i used to have about not going well…i went and I don’t regret it because I am learning a lot, but at the same time i regret not trying to do something different for a few years. I’m just following the conventional routes. Not very exciting right? Anyway yea so I’ve done that. Well currently I am still in second year. Awaiting this years end and then on to third year. Hopefully i learn a lot of things. LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS.
I think I’ll stop there with things i’ve done and move on to things i want to do…
1) Rock-Climbing – However….this is quite expensive. So, going to have to save for a while and when i have some excess I shall fly away to the rocks.
2) Spanish – Fluency, It kind of interests me but not that that that that much. But definitely interesting. Italian also interests me swell……well more than spanish tbh, cause Italy just seems like a more interesting country. Especially from what I’ve heard about italy swell.
Omg I really need to work on my writing. What’s happened to me? AHHHHHH, Probably should read something that’s written well so it rubs off on me? yea. why not? okay.
Ok, so it’s 2016 and I’ve actually had this blog for 3/4 years. That’s pretty cool, it’s about 10:48am and I should be studying but I feel like kind of updating this blog thingy/kind of watching an episode of a kdrama.
I’ve watched some okay kdramas recently…..hmm doctor stranger was acc really good, rooftoop prince was LOL, and errrrrr i can’t really remember the last one…what was it called??? I finished it recently AHHHHH I KNOW I FINISHED IT RECENTLY LIKE SO RECENTLY OOOO OH MY VENUS…it was aite…I think there are probably quite a lot more but yea whatevsss. If I remember I remember. I’m currently watching cheese in the trap, its okay, I feel like the main character is SOOO with the wrong guy. Gosh! This always happens. She’s in university though, like me (yay).
I can’t believe I’m almost finished university. LOLOLOL. I actually made it to third year (really don’t know how). My grades are pretty rubbish though ngl, I’m not the brightest star in the sky, but it’s nice, it’s humbling. Uni life is okay, I don’t think I exactly fit in completely but whatevaa not there to fit in. I’m there to get an education. Have met some cool people though.
ANYWAY…WHAT ELSE… ALSO I’VE recently bought this cleansing oil by shu umera, I love love love love love it, so far, it leaves my face feeling soooo soft, like I used it at night and the next day my face still felt so soft, like the day before. LOVE IT.
Have I already written about my customer service Job? And the book called the undomestic goddess by sophie kinsella (twas a good read). REALLY WAS. OOOOOOO MY NEW JOB…THE PEOPLE THERE ARE great aswell. I actually like my co workers even though I’m not the most sociable person. They’re great people. I’m really thankful for my job even though it’s just a small part time job, but when I think back to the times when I couldn’t find my first job. GOSH…..like literally no one would even give me an interview. It was so frustratingly annoying, so it’s a real blessing. & to those teens who are still trying to find a job, just keep trying that’s literally what I did. Kept trying and then eventually one (a tuition centre) gave me an interview and I eventually got the job. It was an okay job, but I didn’t really get along with the company vibe. I remember when I first got it though, I was so excited LOL.
Besides that…what else shall I put up on the world of the internet? It’s kind of crazy how free I am with this blog considering it is actually up on the internet. I’m so glad, like so so glad that as far as I know, no one knows about this.
Anyway I’ll leave anyone reading this, with this last statement: Appreciate all the little things in life, because when you are going through something or a difficult time, the little blessings they just keep you positive. They’re so small you usually ignore them and take them for granted (me included), but just every now and then appreciate them. Like wow, I have hands, or I have fingers, or I have eyes to look through or if you don’t have eyes, you have ears, or I have a way to access the internet, just stuff that’s seems so simple and insignificant but seriously it’s such a huge blessing. Gratitude, it just brightens up your day.