Sometimes in life things change, and you know you just gotta get your head around it. This is something I haven’t been able to deal with for a long time. Sometimes you gotta let people go even if that means you will be alone. If you no longer connect and click in the same way, your just dragging on dead weight in a way. Thing’s aren’t supposed to be the same, that’s the beauty of life. And yea, this post is so cryptic and weird.
I guess I’m frustrated, I was frustrated and annoyed at myself for a while. One for going against my principles and taking out such a big loan for an education that I didn’t necessarily need. Two for chasing after people that didn’t really want to get to know me.
I’m actually tired of talking to people who only want to talk to me when they have something to say and not when I do to. I understand people are busy living their lives but if you really played a significant factor to someone else’s life they would probably text you back, or ask you how your doing. I’m tired of making excuses for people’s crappy behaviour and most of all I’m tired of just taking it at all. I’m not blaming the crappy people for my situation. I know it’s entirely my fault because I let this all happen. I should’ve walked away earlier. I’m at a point in my life where to be honest I don’t really fully have enough time to connect with people. Especially within these next few months. I have a lot to do in a short amount of time so I don’t really have time for drama. I’m still figuring out what I want to do on this Earth. I have a few ideas and loads more floating in my brain but I literally don’t have time for that. For now I don’t want to let people determine my mood. Whether someone texts me back or not, is in your life or not, you shouldn’t let it bring you down. It just sucks ass when it’s someone you never really thought would do that, does it. It sucks to know that you’ve been forgotten or that they’d intentionally ignore your message. IT SUCKS ASS. I’ve had my fair share of being ignored, and I can officially say I am done. If you don’t appreciate my presence, I guess that’s that, not everyone’s gonna love you for you, but it’s gonna be alright. It is just annoying when you don’t really know where you stand to someone. It’s so annoying. Literally makes me feel like cutting people off.
DAMN MAN. This has all come about because of some stupid incident earlier in my life. I guess what’s to be learnt from this is that if you don’t know where you stand with someone you probably don’t really stand anything to them anyway. If that make’s any sense. It’s a sad reality in this world. No you won’t be friends with everyone. No, not everyone will be your supporter. Yes people will use you and then leave you when it suits them. That is life. No ones perfect, but when you sure find people you actually connect with and click with. Someone you can see eye to eye with, someone who respects your views and you respects them. Someone who values your time. Treat them right. Simple as. Don’t leave another scar in a too scared world.
Didn’t realise how scarred I got from a whole weird experience, but yea I guess it will take time to officially not care anymore. It doesn’t happen in a day a month a year or whatnot, but it’ll happen one day or another. I’m actually kind of glad though to be where I am. I am glad. Gotten through a lot beneath the surface, and it was damn crazy but it’s alright now. If any of you guys are going through anything tough just know at the end it’ll be alright. We are all human beings, everyone makes mistakes, but you’ve got to find the ones worth the mistakes. Surround yourself with people who are honestly happy for your success. Honestly there for you during the hard times, people you feel comfortable turning to for advice. Those are the kinds of people you wanna keep around. Also, don’t let a bad experience stop you from giving other people chances. It’s hard I know, but we just gotta not let other people bring us down to a point where we ourselves completely change and are bitter towards others. Be stronger than the crappy’s out there. Don’t let them get you down.
All these words just from being ignored. AHHH. THINGS RUN DEEP SOMETIMES.
Anyway life changes. OMG TWO MONTHS LEFT. AJDJSBJBSJCSDKCJSDNCJ I’VE GOT TO STUDY HARD GET IN THE GROOVE OF STUDYING. I actually do not know how I pass. I’m literally not going to look past these two months because it distracts me so bad. I’ve got several lists (all listing similar stuff) of thing’s I want to do after as a reminder. I need to just forget about that list till later. TWO THINGS TO DO: STUDY AND FOCUS 25. Everyday 25 minutes because I feel my health deteriorating. If I get through focus 25 I’ll do a post on it. I mean why not. In 2/3 months I’ll write a post about university too. Maybe someone will benefit from them. I hope I remember to do the posts.