You know when you want to write, but you don’t know what to write, and you kind of don’t really wanna write whatever cause you don’t want to send garbage out into the internet. Yeah, that’s what I’ve been thinking for a while, and while it’s great putting out great posts all the time, full of magical information that isn’t a waste of your time to read, I’m gnna SOD it. So if at any point you get bored, feel free to leave this post and maybe come again for another, which, hopefully won’t be as boring, or rubbish.
To be honest, I kind of just made this blog for fun over the summer. As a child/young adult I frequently spent my summers online, reading, researching, watching korean dramas and the like. Anyway I haven’t written in what feels like ages, and I think it’s definitely therapeutic for me to do so. Also, I’m hoping to improve upon my english writing, since I’ve noticed I’m quite lacking in that department. ALSSOOOOO, It’s just a good way to kind of stay on track in life and whatnot, and it’s nice to look back and see what stuff I was thinking/writing about when I was younger.
So, my mindset recently has been a bad one which I need to change, and it’s really not good. I never used to think like ooo poor me, blaa blaa blaa. But recently, I’ve noticed it in the back of my mind, I’m blaming my circumstances or external things, which IS NOT GOOD AT ALL. I feel kind of sluggish, I need to take my self accountable for my circumstances regardless of what happens in my life and what not. Doesn’t matter where you come from and what you have, you have enough to succeed. Anyway, so I definitely need to work on my mindset and take more accountability for where I’m at today.
Furthermore; post uni life and my thoughts on it:
After Uni, I felt drained, physically and mentally, it took a while to feel normal again, I completed an Arabic course and started getting physically healthy, and it was great, it was a relief to be away from studying, yet somewhat still studying since, I’ve continued learning new things. I found something that I’m interested in and am now pursuing that as an income source. I’m still coming to grips with a daily routine and try to establish one for myself despite not being in full time employment.
Thing’s that I’ve struggled with; is job desperation, wanting a job so you choose to apply to any and everything (quite bad), finding my place in society, and life.
The thing is with me, Uni became a toxic place, well it became toxic for me, or I was just at a toxic point in my life. A lot of the people I had chosen to surround myself with were not good for me. I’m not necessarily saying they’re bad people, but I know that they’re personalities and mind did not click. Pairing that up with the disappointment I felt in myself for kind of just taking this route because I could instead of really thinking things through and giving myself the opportunity to explore other avenues. I wished I had given myself a year or two, rather than just following the crowd. However, now I’m glad I’ve gone through that experience because I’ve learnt a lot about myself and grown as an individual. People say pain is causes you to grow, it definitely does, well from my experience, as long as you have the right mindset in life it does cause you to grow. However, when your actually experiencing the pain, and going through it, it feels like absolute shit, but on the other side it’s great.
Anyway, one of the fundamental life lessons I’ve learnt through going to University is:
Only you know yourself well enough, and sometimes things don’t add up, a lot of the time your gut instinct is screaming out to you, throughout my University years my gut instinct kept on screaming out towards me and I kept on ignoring it, and I guess I didn’t make the best decisions. Looking back, I’ve learnt a life lesson, so now I make it a habit to listen to my gut.
Sometimes it takes a while to explain things, however your gut tells you straight away. It’s important to trust yourself and your instincts.
But yeah that’s my ramblings I guess, for now I want to finish up a course I’ve been completing in order to make myself more employable and work on my skills, so I can perform the job I’m setting out to do well. I’m also, applying to jobs, and trying to change my lifestyle for the better. Currently, I’m reading The Happiness Advantage, it’s non-fiction, so I hope I finish it, I’m also watching Introverted Boss a Korean drama, it’s okay. I want to wait and see how the plot plays out.
I’d love to take up a martial art or a sport, however I just feel like I’m not there yet. I think I should definitely sort out my financials first. Getting rid of that student debt, finding full time employment. I hope I find a fun job with cool people. That’s what I’m hoping for. Kind of exciting ahahahaha, I guess that’s what everyone kind of feels about their first job. Anyway, Hasta Luego! Seee ya later peeps. Have a nice day!!!!!!!!!!!! 😀